at the Triple Crown

I joined friends over at Triple Crown, a place that usually features Ali Shaheed Muhammed of a Tribe Called Quest Thursdays on the tables. He is apparently elsewhere now, and it was evident from the complete deadness on this particular Thursday.

That being said, the place is supercool and the music is solidly in the Native Tongues vibe. The bartender is a guy named John who offered us shots quickly after entering made of chocolate soymilk and various vodkas. Skeptically, we popped them and they ended up actually being enjoyable.

"I've been working on this for a while, but I don't have a name for it yet."

In a flash, something jumped into my head and I blurted it out

"How about a 'vegan slut'?"

John was immediately satisfied and told me the shot would be on the menu next time I came through. I suggest you stop by and check.

At the Lamest Tailgate Ever

 
So I went to the Harvard-Yale game tailgate at my special lady-friend's behest. I was told it was supposed to be a wild, fun time filled with smartypants getting wasted and being clever. Instead I found a truck with posterboard and marker denoting the *combined* tailgate of two whole Harvard College classes. That means of the, oh, I don't know, 2000 graduates of the most prestigious college in the US, about 14 sheepish goofballs gathered around a hot grill and icy cooler for free beers and discussion of graduate school on what is advertised as the biggest alumni social event of the year.

Let me be the first to say GO BLUE.

ADVICE: If you are not in some sort of grad school when you get to the 4th or 5th year out of college (even art or music school), don't show up to the H-Y game. People will mock you and your earning potential. 

Bumping into the Governator

I have, for some time, complained that I haven't seen more famous people in New York. I have to admit, I like seeing them and for some reason I get really excited around famous people for no good reason. The city is meant to be chock full of them but somehow they hang out everywhere but where I go.

There is a sort of standard conversation which occurs among people who live here where you recant who you've seen and how different they were than you imagined. A small subset of people will respond to this conversation by listing a few people, then saying "whatever - no big deal" and then shrug. I hate these people.

So I was at the first day of a new project and after getting a general explanation of what the work was going to be like, I suggested we go for a bagel. On the way back from crossing the street from the bagel spot, cops appeared out of nowhere and started yelling. Then suburbans zoomed up and press photographers started snapping pictures. Out of one truck pops The Governator himself. I stood there dumbfounded with my poppy seed and dairy breakfast and possibly jaw open.

Apparently he was there to discuss energy initiatives with his new pal Mike Bloomberg, probably having mirthful money fights at the end. True to The Conversation, I have to say he's much shorter than I would have expected, and its not clear from the pictures but his head is enormous. Anyhow, that's all.

Yes, I find that shit exciting so fuck off.

Pickin Apples

 

Last weekend I was up in Boston and some friends and I drove out to the countryside to go apple picking. I have to say, it was hilariously fun. Also, since most of the easy apples had been picked, the job really amounted to a lot of tree-climbing, monkey impressions, and assorted apple-related humor. (William Tell, I'm a Mac, you're PC, etc) Eating apples which are freshly picked is a completely different experience and only goes to prove what an unadulterated cityslicker I've become. They're delicious. 

Glaring at you

There is a place in my neighborhood that serves half-assed cheap Italian food and last night this table of Asian folks asked me to take a picture with their camera. The guy on the left made this amazing toughguy face so I asked to take another with my own camera. Inbetween photos, he was happy and laughing. So weird.

The view from Iraq

Friends:

My friend Chris has been on the ground with the Marines in Iraq for the past year. In general I'm pretty opposed to the war and am generally a raging liberal, but having a buddy running around dodging carbombs makes the position a lot more firm. Another friend at work was in the Army for many years and over drinks discussed the very moment he lost his faith in the administrations motives. I think it really crushed him. I think a lot of people out there are doing terrible things because they believe in leadership which is embarassing at best and are now coming around to the realization that there is no man behind the curtain. As far as I'm concerned, every bumper should have two stickers "Support our troops" AND "End the war". They're not orthogonal ideas.

Anyhow, Chris has been sending me emails and pictures of whats going on over there and thankfully he's now coming home. I'm happy for his wife and kids - they must have gone through a lot. Here is his sign-off email and I think it's worth reading. Just a note, he has signed all of his emails "peace" for the past year. I hope you are all well.

"Folks,

This will be the last e mail you receive from this address as we will be starting our long journey out of here soon.

I attached two photos of things that I will not miss about being here. The first was an attack in which 3 of my Marines were injured. Two were sent home and one of them was stuck in the wreckage of the vehicle. We had to cut him out and get him on a helicopter while we attempted to kill the people responsible for his injuries. People will surprise you in such situations as often it is the person thought a coward or a follower that can step forward and lead with great courage and perseverance. We have had some hard times over here but the Lord has been with us and everybody will recover from their injuries eventually.

The second is a photo of incoming mortar fire. Rarely is anyone injured or killed by this which is usually inaccurate because the insurgents know that radar guided artillery fire usually fires back quickly enough to blow them to bits if they hang around for an accurate shot.

I have learned a lot over here some of which I would like to forget. Please let me offer some parting thoughts on a few topics:

MEDIA COVERAGE: Those who know me well would probably call me a news addict. However, since I have been here I have lost all confidence in the American media’s ability to report the full story. Rather than give a wide view of situations such as these they gravitate more towards the sensational story that they think American couch potatoes want to see. Most of the news outlets have some sort of political drive behind them (from both ends of the spectrum) that causes them to miss the full story in favor of bits and pieces that drive home their agenda. A lot of coverage is given to American casualties and potential mistakes and crimes but little is spent covering it from the other end. Terrible things have happened here at the hands of the various Islamic Insurgent groups in the name of their drive to a caliphate that never gets reported. For example, large amounts of children were killed recently in an insurgent attack which never made the news. A lot of roadside bombs now are no longer command detonated but can and do kill indiscriminately the first vehicle that drives by. My armored HMMWV may take a blast from a few buried artillery shells but a car with a family in it will not. I would estimate that over twice as many civilians are killed by IEDs than US Forces and I have personally witnessed such messes but that IS NEVER REPORTED. The bottom line is don’t believe everything you read and if you want the full story you need to consult multiple news outlets to get it. The 24 hour cable news phenomenon makes a lot of people think they are arm chair generals. Do not be one of those people.

DEMOCRACY: There are a lot of Iraqis risking their lives daily in an attempt to get their nation to the next level. However, this is a very old society and their understanding of time is vastly different than ours. Joe Six Pack American thrives on instant gratification. The land where you can have it your way at the drive through or order a commemorative Elvis Plate Set on the internet and have it show up at your door the next day needs to adjust its expectations accordingly when dealing with other societies. The rest of the world does not work that way. The 230 years of American History is a blink of an eye over here. Our democracy did not spring to life in its current painful form overnight and neither will this one. Impending civil war not withstanding, what is happening here cannot be judged on an hourly daily basis like the NYSE. These things take patience especially when dealing with a different culture. Iraq is an unnatural nation similar to the former Yugoslavia under Marshal Tito (now Kosovo, Bosnia, Serbia etc) if so the ethnic fractures may be too much for democracy to heal but it will still take many years until we know for sure.

POLITICS: The Iraqi democracy will ultimately succeed on the backs of the Iraqis. Whether we pull out of here next month or in 2020, most of us will ultimately go on with our lives. However, the quest for better national security will continue regardless of who is in power. While I understand that people vote for their politicians based on the issues, all Americans need to understand that we will not get very far if all our time is spent on partisan politics. Whether you are a Democrat or Republican, vote for the politician who is willing to compromise and do what is best for the people…ALL THE PEOPLE.

I just want to sign off by saying that the heroes in wartime situations like this are the families left behind to continue their lives as if everything is normal. My wife is one of those people and she has shown great strength, perseverance and support throughout the last year. I am truly a lucky person to have such people in my life and for that I will be eternally grateful. Please support such people whenever you can.

PEACE,

Captain Christopher (lastname) USMCR

Avoiding The Post

New York is an interesting place, to say the least. There is obviously a lot going on, not only fun stuff like the Lincoln Center Jazz Band playing in the courtyard outside your building, but clearly lots of work, as seen from all the poor analysts with their hands and faces pressed against the glass upstairs wishing they could go down and enjoy the music.

Famously, New Yorkers walk really fast as well, to demonstrate exactly how important and late they are. I thought this was dumb until I realized yesterday I was huffing past lopey tourists and grumbling. Anyhow, one important element of this constant hurrying is the fashion in which people absorb news in the morning.

There are several options, but they fall into three categories: Real Papers (of which I mean the Wall Street Journal or Financial Times, or NY Times if you're unemployed), the Free Papers (AM New York and Metro), and The Post. People who read the Real Papers are obviously posturing and taking up too much space on the subway with their broadsheets. This is an asshole thing to do.

The more acceptable and plebian thing to do is read the Free Papers. Every city has some version - they're about 20 pages, cover a lot of important topics, including celeb gossip and local sports, and importantly, they're free. The barkers stand by the subway entrances and tell you good morning and are generally pretty pleasant people. Unless there is one representative from each paper. Then it's an angry competition between two aproned fellows yelling "AM NEW YORK!" "NO! METRO!" at which point everyone just walks by choosing neither.

Importantly, while these papers are certainly not good in the objective sense, they're not really all that biased and are acceptable to read by all walks of life. There's a sudoku in the back, a coverage of league-wide sports scores, and a brief sampling of world news. It's exactly 15 minutes worth of reading, and it doesn't make you mad.

On the other hand, the New York Post is without question the worlds worst newspaper. To begin with, they have perfected the alarming font, which early in the morning on the subway lets you know with no uncertainty and in a very loud (written) voice that "HILLARY MAY RUN FOR WHITE HOUSE!" and soforth. Not only is it the largest headline of any paper, but they do their best to pun it up as much as possible. A few weeks ago, when they nabbed the guys in the airplane bomb plot, it was, predictably, "SNAKES ON A PLANE!".

Not only that, the contents of the paper are probably the most biased and poorly written of any printed materials other than possibly college campus Socialist propaganda. Yet here is the crazy part: *everyone* reads it. And they pay 50 cents for the privilege. CEO-types, arty NPR-types, homeless guys, construction workers, and drag queens all find the change and time for the New York Post.

I really don't get it. Please help.